The Revelation of Divorce



“He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives:  but from the beginning it was not so.” – Matthew 19:8

Hardly anything in the ministry is more heartbreaking than to see Christian couples divorce.  What’s more, is that when it comes down to it, hardly anything inside the kingdom of Christ can make your blood boil more than Christian couples choosing divorce.  In the last few years, I cannot count on two hands and both feet the number of marriages sitting under the preaching of God’s Word, singing hymns of grace, and proclaiming Biblical principles, in which either one spouse was abandoned apart from their will, or both spouses freely walked away.  Children are thrust into chaos, love and loyalty are undermined before their very eyes, and gigantic question marks are placed behind everything the pastor, Sunday School teachers, and mom and dad ever attempted to teach them.  While many want to call it a tragedy, we have to come to the place where we need to call it what it is, a sin. – Tragedies happen, divorces are chosen.

Not wanting to sound cold hearted or calloused to the ravages of sin, the divorces that I am specifically speaking of are occurring on the front rows of church houses, and in the hearts and minds of men and women who know better, and have no business even having the word divorce in their vocabulary.  As I said, not every divorce in the church is the choice of both spouses; but it still has no business being the choice of the leaving spouse who portends to present themselves as a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.  That being said, there are some things that do need to be said.

I. – Stop Blaming the Devil. – I am growing weary about how the devil has gotten in the home and started tearing marriages apart. More often than not the devil has as much to do with it, as I do the NASDAQ.  It’s not even what some might want to call “Spiritual Warfare.”  The problem is not Spirituality, the problem is Carnality.  Jesus said in Matthew 19:8, that the true, sure cause for divorce is a hard heart.  When one or both spouses chooses divorce, ultimately it is because they have refused to conform their hearts, their minds, their feelings, and their will to the Word of God. – There is not an offense that the scripture doesn’t provide a remedy for.  There is not a behavior that the Word of God and the Spirit of God cannot correct in a willing heart.  There is not a problem between two people that the Bible and the Spirit of God are too small to solve.  The truth is that when one person who claims to know Jesus chooses divorce, they are revealing that they are not willing to conform their soul to the Word and Work of the Lord.

II. – Stop Pursuing Happiness – I’m for being happy and the Bible is too, but only in the right place.  God has placed true happiness on the backside of holiness.  The call in the life of the Christian is to pursue Holiness, and only then and there does a person have divine permission to be happy.  The problem that many don’t realize is that they don’t have God’s permission to be happy.  God has never desired for someone to be happy who will not first choose to be holy and obedient, and repentant, and submissive to His Word.  Second, your life is not to be spent on you.  God gave you life to give back to Him, and if happiness happens, hallelujah, if happiness doesn’t happen then, “the joy of the Lord will be my strength.” 

III. – Stop Living By Your Feelings – No Christian is to live by what he feels, he is to live by what he knows.  He is to live by the Word and words of the Living God regardless of the feelings of his flesh. The Bible says to be “carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.”  When a wife lives by her feelings, then one day she’s not going to feel like she wants to be married anymore and she will start seeing all the wrong things, and stop seeing all the right things.  When a husband refuses to take all he feels, and thinks, and desires, and place them under the control of the Spirit of God and the Word of God, then pretty soon all emotional connections will falter and human powers will fail. 

Carnality saturates professing Christian homes.  Priorities are upside down, and convictions are turned on their head.  Athletics dictate church attendance, pop-culture constitutes entertainment, lifestyle determines stewardship, and social acceptance and status are virtues of admiration . . . with those driving forces it is no wonder there is power failure in the souls of people who claim to follow the Lord.

Now let me say this.  For people who don’t know the Lord, or are immature in their faith, I am amazed at how many still stay together.  The Bible teaches where much is given, much is required, and people who do not know better must always be handled with great care and gentle understanding.  People who do know better need an industrial strength dose of confession, repentance and submission, and there is no doubt, that forgiveness will be taste that is left in their mouth.

For those who have been abandoned, my heart hurts and I pray for earnestly.  For the people of God to conform their hearts, minds, and wills, to the Word of God, including myself is a constant change worth making.

One comment on “The Revelation of Divorce

  1. Danny Fudge says:

    Good stuff, but I wish you would say what you really mean. 😉 HAve a great day Sunday. danny


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